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  • Writer's pictureTabitha Shakespeare

I Am Not A Hot Mess Mom

We live in a world that glorifies chaos. Your house is a mess? It's fine! You're always exhausted? Everyone is! You never shave your legs? It's totally fine! You're kids are like a tornado? EVERYTHING IS FINE!

I want to speak something radical right now and I know it's not the favorite opinion but I want you to know that this is truly coming from a place inside myself and I'm more speaking to myself than anyone else.

Our words have so much power. There is actual scientific evidence that the things that you say and think about yourself will actually come true. If you say over and over about yourself that you're tired, you will never not be tired. If you constantly put yourself down and say that you are unorganized, and that you're always late and that you need coffee to survive, those things will always be true about you.

This is why I I've decided that I won't speak the words "Hot Mess" over my life.

I am not called to stumble from one cup of coffee to the next. I am called to be a mother. God gave me this work and I intend to do it well. Am I the best at cooking? No. Does that make me a bad mom or less desirable wife? Absolutely not! I have so much more to offer than that - plus I bought an instant pot which means I never have to actually cook a meal again! #momwin

My goal is to not settle and become complacent with the things I’m not good at, but to recognize areas that I’m not the best in and find ways to make those things easier.

Our lives do not have to be chaos. Our homes do not have to be messes. Our children do not have to be out of control. - I say this as the mom of a very brave, active, curious two year old.

I know that this is easier said than done but that is the point! What is said over and over will turn into action so I've put together a list of practical things that I started to do so that my mindset will change over time.

1. Count Your Thoughts

EVERY SINGLE TIME you start to put yourself down whether it's out loud or in your mind, count it. See how many times in a day you think things like "I'm so tired" "Ugh I'm so bad at this" "I just can't get through the day without a nap" "Why am I not more like her" "I hate this about my body"... the list goes on and on but the thoughts add up ya'll. Count them because that knowledge is power.

2. Take Your Thoughts Captive It takes 21 days to break a bad habit once and for all. Once you've recognized how many times a day you're speaking negative things over yourself. Set out to change those thoughts. Whenever you hear yourself say "I'm so tired" capture that thought and replace it with the opposite. EVEN IF IT DOESN'T FEEL TRUE. You're brain WILL start to rewire itself and it will BECOME true.

3. Stop Procrastinating I cannot tell you how many times my stress and anxiety is caused by the fact that I waited until the last possible minute to get things done. I wait until the dishes are literally overflowing in the sink before I wash them. I wait until there is a mountain of clothes on my bedroom floor before I do the laundry. I wait until the Halloween day to buy candy and costumes. I know it doesn't seem like a big thing but the same way you take negative thoughts captive, take your procrastination thoughts captive as well. When you hear yourself think "I've got to get that done" or I'll just do it later". Stop yourself and do the thing. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE.

4. Turn off the T.V. I'm someone who has Netflix running pretty much constantly in my house. It's usually Friends, or The Office or some other show that I've seen every single episode of so it doesn't feel like i'm even paying attention to it but I recently realized how much more I get done when I turn it off and turn on a podcast instead. The difference is literally staggering. I didn't realize how much time I was wasting watching the same shows over and over! I'm a long time lover of the Breakaway Podcast (the old ones with Ben Stuart) and recently I'm LOVING the Goal Digger Podcast by Jenna Kutcher! I'm learning and becoming inspired while being productive and I'm so proud of myself at the end of the day!

5. Plan Your Days & Leave Time for Rest Every morning when I wake up I write down three things that I need to get done that day (a little trick I picked up from the Goal Digger Podcast). Usually it's one chore, one blog task, and one Beautycounter task. Once I have my "Three Things' I plan my day around them and I'm not done with my day until those things are finished. It helps me prioritize my time and believe it or not I get so much more done. I tend to get distracted easily so I can start about 50 tasks and not finish any of them and by the end of the day it feels like I haven't done anything productive. This way I get those things done from start to finish and if I want to take a nap or binge watch a show when they're done I can do so without that yucky guilty feeling!

I always thought that since I was a Type B personality I was just not made to be organized and on time. I was destined to be a hot mess forever and it was ok because society has turned that into something to be glorified. I want to challenge that way of thinking. I want us to recognize the power that our thoughts hold over us and take it back. You have the power to change your mindset. You have the power to a boss mom. You have the power to kill it every day. It's up to you whether or not you use it.

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